Just recently, I decided to go back to my roots. Sorta. A year ago, I dyed my hair brown. DARK brown. It was quite the contrast as I was blonde. I needed a change and the hair seemed to reflect my mood. Dark. I wasn’t exactly unhappy, but I wasn’t thrilled. I had just changed jobs and was not sure about my decision. I took my angst out on my hair. I told my friend who does my hair that I wanted to go brunette, and I did it. A few weeks later, I decided I wanted LONG brown hair and she put in extensions. The bonded keratin ones. They looked amazing. I was terrified of having crazy fake hair, but she did them perfectly. No one even guessed that I had them until I told them. They were great. There was only one problem. They weren’t me. Instead of feeling amazing with this long goregous hair, I felt self conscious. Did they look too fake? Could you the bonds? Are people looking at me and saying “what’s with that girl’s hair?” I’m sure they weren’t (maybe they were haha) but it just didn’t feel like me. A lot of it had to do with how I was feeling on the inside. A little lost. A lot of things didn’t seem to be going my way. I’d been in a funk and I couldn’t seem to get out of it.
A few months later, my old boss called me and asked if I wanted to come back. I still wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, and if it was the right choice. Ultimately, my heart told me I needed to go back to my old company. So, I did. I was still feeling a little unsure about my job and how I looked. I think my insecurities about what was on the outside, were because of what I was lacking on the inside: self assurance. We all go through it. No matter what size you are or what you look like. We are so much more beautiful than we give ourselves credit for. Sometimes we let a bad relationship, a bad date or a bad day question our self worth. One thing I’ve realized, you just gotta be true to yourself. Whatever that means to you. Even if it means being half asian with blonde hair. Do what you want and what makes you feel beautiful. It’s not always easy, and everyone has setbacks and bad days. One can only hope that with good friends and little makeup, you can make it out of the darkness, and back into the light, or in my case. . .lighter hair. 🙂
What’s your hair color of choice?